Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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