Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
