you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
