Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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