he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
