I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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