i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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