My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
