READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
