he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
