i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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