have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
