You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I need to calm my uterus...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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