I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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