yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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