So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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