HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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