So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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