Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
