I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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