she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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