I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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