it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
