id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
