Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
