the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
