Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
