1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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