you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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