The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
