Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
