Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
