is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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