Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
