i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
