We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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