I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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