i think my tv is drunk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
