I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Blood and glitter go together right?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
