so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
