Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
