Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
