Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Randomize
