absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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