So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
