I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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