I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
