i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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