if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
