We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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